These days it seems the general consensus is that you need to know what's going on everywhere at every moment of every day. The expansion of news outlets and social media certainly seem to back that up. But, at least for many, it's not as good an idea as you might think. I stopped watching the news or reading it online, about seven years ago or so. At least, I stopped watching it every day in my spare time. And I mean everything. News on TV, news websites, or social media...though I hesitate to refer to the latter as “news”. It happened quite randomly in fact.

I just opened up Firefox and it was still configured to display random articles on it's start page. I was about the browse someplace when the title of one of the articles caught my eye. I don't remember it specifically, but it talked about why reading the news was a bad thing. At least reading it indiscriminately.

News and information, believe it or not, can be like a drug, and an addictive one at that. Our brains are incredible tools for absorbing and processing information, and if one happens to get used to that, it'll start wanting more. Now, in many areas of life, this can be a good thing. But with news in general, it really isn't. At least, not for a lot of people.

Here's why.

News media has really taken off in this century. Before then, for the most part, you got your news from two places. The daily newspaper, and TV news shows that ran maybe 3-4 times a day. usually early morning, noon, prime time, and sometimes late night. Now, in the 90's more people started getting cable and, therefore, had access to 24 hr news networks. However, for most of the century, even through the 80s and early 90s, most people made due with broadcast TV, which limited our exposure.

So, what did this mean? It meant you had very limited exposure to what was going on in the world. News programs had thirty minutes...occasionally an hour...to give you world, national, and local news along with weather and, sometimes sports. I don't count shows like Good Morning America or Today, or other shows like that because those were more for entertainment even if there was a minor news component to them. Besides, by the time they came on most people had left for work already. Only the stay-at-home people watch them.

So, in general, what do you get in thirty minutes? Not much. They'd cover whatever they considered to be very top stories at each level of interest which was really not much more than a few minutes each, because they had to squeeze commercials in too. Once a day, in prime time, the national networks had a half hour where they focused on world and national news, but you still didn't get very much.

Purely for the sake of this post, I went to CNN just now and just scrolled down the main page where I saw a headline about some road rage shooting in Louisiana, which is no where near where I live.

What do you think that odds are of that making the news in say, Seattle, Phoenix, or Charlotte if this had happened in the 1980's? Not very good. Local outlets wouldn't have seen a point in mentioning it since there where other things deemed more important “closer to home”. They might have mentioned it if it made national headlines, but there's only so much the national news could fit, either into sections of newspaper, or that thirty minutes to an hour they had to tell you what was happening in the world.

I don't mind saying only people in Louisiana, and maybe a few surrounding states would've known it happened at all.

Today, though, we all have the ability to know everything that's going on everywhere in the world, almost at a moment's notice through, not hundreds, but thousands of outlets. News media of every kind, and the explosion of social media. Add to that the fact that more and more often the news is more biased than ever.

I remember occasionally glancing at my mother's news paper in the eighties and one of the reasons I thought it was boring (as a little kid) was it just stated facts about what happened and didn't seem all that interesting.

Now, news media is entertainment. A twisted form of it, but entertainment nonetheless. If you still not quite sure you're grasping it, go to Spotify or iTunes or someplace and dig up a song called “Dirty Laundry” by Don Henley. That sums up the problem pretty well.

It's only gotten worse because, now that there's so much of it, right down to having it on our phones, that it's honestly become a problem of overexposure. I see reports now and then that talk about how people feel “less safe” than they did ten, twenty, or thirty years ago. This is in spite of the fact that, in many places at least, crime rates have been going down. There are parts of the world that are safer now than they were thirty years ago, and yet the people in those places feel less safe. Why? Because the virtual onslaught of news all day everyday is scared the living daylights out of them that's why.

So, as John Oliver might say, “What can we do?”

Well, here's the lesson I learned seven years ago.

When I'm tempted to go to a news site or read a news article, I ask myself a simple question.

“What practical value does this information have in my life?”

Let's go back to that road rage shooting I mentioned earlier. Why is it so important that I know such a sad thing happened? I already know I don't like guns. I already know I don't like violence (at least in RL). I also don't live anywhere near where it happened, so I didn't need to know it for safety reasons either. I also know that I don't make enough money to help the victim financially if that's even an option here. So, again, why did I need to know it happened.

Yeah, I know. I re-read that and that sounds really cold to me too. But think for a moment. Reading the story would probably make me sad. It would probably make a lot of people sad, or upset, even mildly so. That just means you're a good human being. But what are you supposed to do with that emotion? What practical value does being upset about this have? What can you even do with this information?

Well, as I said, people local to it probably should know. You need to know what's happening in your immediate area, so I do try to read local news on occasion, but national and world news isn't something we need all day everyday, nor is news that is local to someone else.

Local news is practical. I read it. Not all day everyday, but now and then, so I can stay just informed enough without overloading. And, of course, during the pandemic, I did make sure I stayed very informed on that. But otherwise. I don't need any other news in my life. Not for the most part.

As I said, I ask myself what practical value there. Now there are national and world news articles that do have practical value to me, but they're very few and very far between. It's not the sort of thing I need to know about every second of every minute of every day.

So, does this make me ignorant? Yes. I'm ignorant in many things. So are you, even if you'd rather not admit it. There are plenty of things you shouldn't be ignorant of, but the vast majority of news isn't one of them.

People say they read all the news they can scroll through on their phones or on TV to “stay informed”. Stay informed of what? Again, local news I understand, but everything outside...no.

So-called 'doomscrolling' has already been demonstrated to be emotionally damaging to people. News is an addiction now more than ever. But once you kick the habit, you might find you live a calmer life.

In the seven years since I do find, in general, I live a more relaxed life. Sure there are things in my life that upset me, or scare me, or depress me. But that''s the thing, isn't it? I already have that stuff to deal with in my life. Piling loads of depressing and upsetting news articles on top of that does nothing good.

Read the news that has practical value in your own life. Most of it will be at the local level. Occasionally there might be national or world news that has practical value. It might help you decide how to vote in the next election. That's practical value. Just don't drown yourself in it. You've got much more important things to do in your life.

Anyway, I think I've rambled long enough. If you're on Bluesky, feel free to drop me a comment with your own thoughts on the post I linked to this from.

Until next time...

“In a world that sometimes forgets, be the reminder that kindness still matters.” —Serinthia Kelberry

I don't mean “Why do you hate” or “How could you hate this person?”. I mean exactly what is written. How do you hate another human being?

The reason I ask is, because I don't think I've ever been capable of it. Or, if I have, it's not an emotion I recognized. Of course I use the word 'hate' quite casually when I say things like “Oh I hate when a package is delayed” or “I hate this change they made to my favorite video game”. These are things. Annoyances really. I say I hate these things, but is that what I really feel? It doesn't really make me angry, or make me want to rage at it or anything like that. They're just annoyances and I use the word 'hate' mostly out of habit, I think, because many people use it in the same fashion.

But people. Hating a person. What does that emotion feel like? What would someone have to do to me or to someone I love to make me hate them? Usually when conflict arises, I try my best not to engage. I try to withdraw or escape. I'm openly trans, but I've never run into someone who openly attacked me on the street for being so. I imagine, though, if someone did, I'd run away, but I wouldn't hate them, even if they hate me. I've been attacked online occasionally, but it's been in text. While I know, academically, that the text I read was written by an actual person (although, can we really be sure any more?), it still doesn't seem real to me. If someone verbally attacked me, I'd feel sad and upset, but would I hate them? I don't think so.

I guess I don't even know what the emotion is supposed to feel like. I've tried to picture hatred in my head sometimes, considering what it might feel like. I compare it often to anger or rage to a very high degree and even to a point that would make one wish bad things to happen to the target of their hatred. Do you think that's accurate? I honestly don't know, but it makes sense. But if that is so, I don't know that I've ever felt it.

So, you might be tempted to say “Does that mean you don't hate...the orange jello mold, or some other hate groups out there?” And see, that's where I get more uncomfortable because, again, I don't know. Now, to be abundantly clear: I definitely don't like any of them, they do things that upset me, that depress me, that make me sad, that hurt me, and I definitely will do what I can to keep them out of elected offices and such (by voting and other legal means, nobody get any weird ideas)...but, does that rise to the level of 'hating' them?

In the past, when I've agonized over this, I've had people tell me I'm too sheltered, which...I dunno, maybe that's true. Others have told me I'm lucky that I don't know how to hate a person. These days, though, there seems to be a lot of hatred bubbling up on both sides and from areas I hadn't expected to see it previously. I get afraid because if people like that, that agree with me on many principals see that I don't 'hate' someone that they hate, that they'll start hating me and say I'm against them or something. Sometimes I feel like hate is becoming necessary in this strange new world, and I'm going to get left behind because I don't know how.

Anyway, I think I've rambled long enough. If you're on Bluesky, feel free to drop me a comment with your own thoughts on the post I linked to this from.

Hmm. I just realized what my signature below says. Maybe I should focus on kindness instead...

Until next time...

“In a world that sometimes forgets, be the reminder that kindness still matters.” —Serinthia Kelberry

Then I began thinking about motherhood. And an old pain awoke inside me. One that I often keep to myself because I don't think, even now, I can truly describe what it feels like. I read a lot of fantasy and romance books. I watch similar sorts of TV Shows. I'm hooked on “A Discovery of Witches” at the moment. All told from a woman's perspective. For, what I hope are obvious reasons, that sort of main character greatly appeals to me.

Sometimes in these books and shows, and stories...sometimes the concept of pregnancy and having a child comes up. And, maybe it sounds weird, but sometimes if it hits me the wrong way...it hurts.

I'm always happy for the character, presuming it's something she wanted...but, there are times...

I have, in my journey, of now nearly 49 years, wondered what it would be like to have a child, experience pregnancy, and such. To be completely clear, my life is not now, nor has it ever been, compatible with having and raising children. Truly I am likely to have still passed on them anyway if I had been born with the required biology. But then, see, I come to the next thing that hurts. I wasn't born that way. And because I wasn't born that way, at no point, even in my earliest childhood memories, did I ever dream of being a mom. I knew from the earliest lessons, girls had babies and boys didn't. And I was a boy. Therefore, I wouldn't.

I know there are women who may dream of it as children and then decide, as they grow older, that it's just not for them, and they don't need a child to have a full and happy life. That's wonderful. It truly is.

Others, may decide young they don't want children, and just be happy with that. Others may at least like that they could change their mind in the future if they, personally, chose to.

And, tragically, there are women who want children and struggle and fight all their lives to have one, just to be met with disappointment when even medical technology can't help them. That's a level of pain all it's own, and I will not, for one second, suggest that I know how shattering that must feel.

But, being a woman who, first, wasn't born with the right parts and, two, was taught from birth that, in general terms, that's why she'd never have one and that was the right and proper way to be... ...then I never had that chance to even look out the window and dream, or wonder, or think about what it might be like. That's what i dwell on in these unguarded moments. Something else I missed out on.

I look back on my life and all the twists and turns that brought me to the here and now...and I'm very happy with where I am. But still...I'm sad I was never in The Girl Scouts. I'm sad I didn't learn about makeup from my mom (until recently). I'm sad I couldn't relish with delight, finding the right outfit and the right set of colors to start the day (These days I love doing that). I'm sad the world never got to see me as me when I was so much younger than I am now.

Now, all this being said, I AM glad I finally decided to do something about it. I'm going to live as my true self for as many years as I have left. That makes me exceedingly happy. But I'm always going to have regrets about the life that could have been.

Until next time...

“In a world that sometimes forgets, be the reminder that kindness still matters.” —Serinthia Kelberry

I suppose the best way to start a new blog is to introduce myself.

My name, for all the world to know, is Serinthia Kelberry. I drift about the internet, my curious mind leading to all sorts of places and letting me form opinions on all sorts of topics. There is a human behind my words. You'll find no AI here. I can honestly say I'm past the age where I've stopped counting. On occasion someone may ask me randomly how old I am, and I'll have to stop and think about that for a moment. It's an interesting place to be in. When you're young you (foolishly) dream about being 16 so you can drive a car, 18 (in some countries) so you can be an adult, and 21 so you can drink. After that? Well, what does come after that? Right. 55, when you start getting senior discounts everywhere, and that just reminds you you're old.

The interesting thing is, lately, I haven't minded so much that I'm getting older. There are many good things about being young, but as I age I've found that I quite enjoy the wisdom and perspective that have come with it. I follow the concept of the triple-goddess, representing the maiden, mother, and crone, and I find, as years pass, I'm actually looking forward to proclaiming myself a crone.

I could probably best be described as a watcher, a dreamer, and a counselor. Every personality test I've ever taken and therapist I've converse with have verified that I fall under the counselor/advocate personality type. It's, supposedly, one of the rarest, if no the rarest personality in the world. I'm someone who keeps their counsel unless asked for it. I move quietly through the world, doing what I can to help others that are within my ability. I act as the world's sounding board. Even if I barely know someone, I will find myself listening to anything they have to say. It may be that I can not always offer advice. Nevertheless, I still listen. Everyone has a story. Everyone deserves to be heard, even if it's just to a random stranger they need to unload their troubles on.

I cultivate a select few long term friendships, allowing only those who I trust with my heart and soul to be close to me and to know the joys and sorrows of my life. I have a wider circle of friends and acquaintances...but only a few can rightly claim to be able to show up on my doorstep at 2am, and in need, and I would welcome them in without question.

Content

So, what am I going to put here if I'm so quiet?

I'm going to share things that interest me. Simple enough. I may talk about my own joys and sorrows, or I may talk about and share interesting links and articles and images (with the owner's permission of course). I may offer my thoughts on recent books, tv, and movies.

I also write stories, and I collaborate with other authors to produce stories as well. You'll want to check those out in the Links page at the top.

If you'd like to comment, you're welcome. You can email me at serinthia@amethystdreams.cc or, if you're on the BlueSky social media platform, feel free to leave a comment on this article's announcement post, here.

Until next time...

“In a world that sometimes forgets, be the reminder that kindness still matters.” —Serinthia Kelberry